Social Butterflies

Growing up I would not have described myself as an outgoing person. I do not think my family or my friends would either. I have always loved music and dancing but I loved reading more. At any given time, I would find myself surrounded by lots of people having a conversation and playing music loud, and I would tune them out and be lost in the story I was reading. Even I would call such behaviour ‘anti-social’ now, but back then I really could not be bothered.

The truth of the matter is that I really was a shy person, even though my friends find such a notion impossible. I felt safer in the world of make-belief, where things always worked out well for the heroine (me).  🙂  Real life on the other hand was another story. Disappointments, hurts and uncertainties all year long as the battle raged on to keep friends while fighting peer pressure. Fights over boyfriends and girlfriends, fights over who is the smartest in the class – yes, I was in such a fight 😉 – on top of fights at home with the parents over chores and curfews. Hey, I am not saying that childhood was all that bad, what I am saying is that even Cinderella got a happy ending and it was such stories that told me all will work out in the end.

The change came when I left home for university. I realized that as much as I loved the world of make-belief, there was no time to go visit there in between chemistry and applied mathematics lessons. I needed to change my real world fast if I was to create a balance in my life. I said goodbye to books and hello to the social scene. I was smart enough to also realize that shyness will not get me friends and in order for me to get over it, I needed to just go out there and open my mouth. Nobody knew me and they, therefore, could not judge me on past behaviour. With determination, it really was that easy. I got me a new persona.

I got involved in student organizations, was in social committees, went to the clubs and parties, talked to strangers for hours, and worked at a radio station. Socializing became my number one hobby; every day was about hanging out with friends and meeting new people. Suddenly the sky was the limit and anything was possible, I was not afraid anymore. Travel also became a new hobby; after all I had to go to new places to meet new people!

I look back at all that now and I laugh. Shoo! What a process to go through to become a social butterfly. But man, it was so worth it. It has been quite a journey, with twists and turns and all the social skills I learnt along the way are more real than anything Facebook or Twitter can teach me. As much as I am grateful to the creators of such social networks for making life easier, I am not bowing down and hailing them for it. It is sad to see that people do not make an effort to really get to know each other anymore. The definition of a friend is becoming blurry as time goes on. I do not know half my friends on Facebook, I have never met them. So technically, I am sharing my life with strangers and giving them power to say whatever they want with their comments.

We kid ourselves into thinking we are loved by many just because we have a million followers on Twitter and a thousand ‘friends’ on Facebook that we have never even met. Look around you and notice how many people are glued to their mobile phones talking to the world at large – a make-believe world – instead of the people around them. In this make-believe world, we make up profiles and share lies as truths, bragging about the fabulous life we live. Someone said “Twitter is where you tell truths to strangers and Facebook is where you lie to your friends.” Frankly, the whole idea of having followers freaks me out. It smells of stalker tendencies, nourished and encouraged. To think that every time a person tweets or updates their status, they are saying “Please I’m begging you to stalk me. I will give you my exact location and what I am wearing so you can easily spot me from the crowd.”

Should I even go into how some of us (yes, me included) are totally addicted to sharing everything from “I am having an awesome time at work” to “Roadtrip: Cape Town to Johannesburg”, as well as “I am having sushi for dinner tonight with John Legend playing in the background while a bottle of bubbly chills”. Ha-ha! Such a bragger! Once, I even gave my Facebook friends permission to hate me for the awesome month I had lined up – I listed every day the events that were making my life the most enviable of all. If I was doing this in person, someone would have told me to shut up before I got far…but with Facebook, the freedom is mine to say what I please. What kind of a person is the social network growing me to be?

To find out, I have deactivated my social network account for a month or two (depending on how I handle withdrawal) and will go back to the drawing board of communication to see how I fare without the help of the biggest social butterfly. Wish me luck 😉 because I miss my friends already.

Oh, and don’t forget to share this with your friends via Twitter, Facebook, etc.